When you disagree with others, is your focus on wanting to prove yourself right and the other wrong? Do you look to the other as having questionable motives or being irrational? Do you feel justified in feeling the way you do because you believe the other person does not understand, has questionable motives and is simply wrong?
The truth is we have all felt like this at some point. But if we were honest with ourselves, we know this mindset only serves to escalate the problem, increase conflict and tension in the relationship. This need not be the case - there is an preferred alternative.
Roger Schwarz, author of Smart Leaders Smarter Teams
, provides an alternative four step approach, when applied with sincere intent, guarantees an acceptable resolution to a disagreement.
Step 1: Each person explains their reasoning.
Step 2: Identify the point where your respective reasoning diverges.
Step 3: Explore the divergent point to fully understand it.
Step 4: Craft a solution that enables you both to stay on the same path.
If there is more than one point where your reasoning diverges, go back to Step 2.